Learning to keep expectations low...

So, I just emailed my Placement Officer (PO) today and it looks as if I am not leaving in January as planned due to "programmatic requests." It was hard enough waiting for an invitation to leave in January... but it's really hard now not knowing anything! I don't even know if I will still be going to Africa. Everything is up in the air. However, I was told that I will probably be placed in a new program that leaves in February or March.

This whole process is so much more frustrating than I ever expected. I'm learning never to get my hopes up too high because the Peace Corps changes things all the time. I guess I should have seen this coming. I have been beaten over the head with the saying "nominations are not final so do not make any plans to go overseas until you receive an invitation." I've spent a good part of the day reading other Peace Corps blogs and the only glimmer of hope that I have right now is the fact that many other volunteers have been through this exact same situation. Many applicants have missed their nomination and were nominated for a later program. However, although initially disappointed, they seemed happier with their invitation. Additionally, there seems to be a quick turn-over time between missing your first nomination and getting a second one. That being said... I am keeping my expectations low.


I guess the other thing that is making me feel a bit better is the staging dates/countries posted on www.peacecorpswiki.com. The only country with a staging date in Africa in January is South Africa. Although I would be happy to be placed in any country in Africa, South Africa isn't at the top of my list. In February, there are 5 African countries with staging dates (Uganda, Namibia, Zambia, Rwanda, and Malawi) and in March there are 2 (Madagascar and Senegal). I guess it is a good thing in the long run that I'm not leaving in January. It's just a disappointment because ever since I received my nomination in February, I have been looking forward to this time when I would get my invitation. And now that it's that time... I have to wait longer... it's just hard. It's really true that in the Peace Corps the highs are really high and the lows are LOW. But that's just the nature of the Peace Corps. And I know that I am able to deal with it, but it's just disappointing... and it should be and I'm allowed to be. 

I read a blog entry today from a current volunteer about everything being ok. It's ok for me to be anxious, obsessed, frustrated, etc. All of these feelings are normal. And it's ok for me to feel this way. I guess my biggest worry is actually getting into a program. There are 9 national offices for the Peace Corps and all of them have PO's trying to get their applicants into the same programs. It's very competitive. And I'm scared that I won't get into one anytime soon. It's all very stressful. I just have to keep my head up and keep thinking positive. All things happen for a reason. It will all work out in the end... I hope.